The Adventures of Mary Sue
by Hiroyama
Summary: Join Mary as she travels through out the Multiverse, causing wide spread chaos, large and confusing plotholes and enough sugary sweetness to cause an epidemic of diabetes.
1. Chapter 1

The adventures of Mary Sue

Mary was a little girl who lived in a ugly old broken down orphanage cause she didnt have any parents. The Orphanage matron was really mean and beat her constantly. Mary didnt know why the matron did this but she wouldnt let terrible EVIL thoughts like hatred corrupt her little childish mind. Even when the Matron hired a big mean man who tried to take her dress off and hurt her. Mary just looked at the man and smiled.

Watching the smiling girl made the man's heart melt. He then went and bought a brand new dress and gave it to little Mary. Mary was so happy to see the nice man come back. He then said that he was gonna do everything he can to make sure all the orphans lived happy lives. This made Mary Sue so happy that she gave the man a hug.

Right after hugging the man a really bright light showed up and a voice said that they have a special quest for little Mary Sue. The strange voice said that Mary needed to travel across the universe to go save people and make them happy, Then the voice dissappeared. May Sue was so happy she ran off to Tell the mean Matron.

When the matron heard about the quest she felt so bad about beating little Mary Sue. The Matron then fell to the ground and hugged her while crying. Mary Sue hugged her back and told her how much she loved the matron and she forgave her long ago. Then Mary Saw all the papers on the Matron's desk.

"What are these?" asked Mary

" Those are the tax forms and bank statements for the orphanage." Said the Matron

Looking at the paper work Mary suddenly had an idea and she started writing in the tax books and rechecking the bank statements. The Matron looked on confused. Mary Sue then finished her work and gave the huge stacks of paper work over to the Matron with a big smile.

The matron looked shocked then immediately jumped into the air laughing!

"Mary you saved the orphanage! No one here will ever be beaten or starve or wear rags again!"

Mary was so happy she went and gave all the people there a hug and then she called the nice man over and he hugged her and told her she did a great job. The Matron decided to have a big party and everyone was happy and told Mary goodbye. Then after the party was over a Bright flash occurred and Mary Sue was gone.

Everyone was happy and hoped Mary Sue would bring much more happiness to the Universe.

Total Deaths this Chapter – 0

Number of sugary sweet calories ingested -24,000

Number of new Diabetics created in this chapter – 5

AN- Chapter one of The Adventures of Mary Sue. One thing that can kill a fic faster than bubonic plague is Mary Sue. Watch in sick fascination as she adventures across the Multiverse bringing sugary sweetness to the strangest of worlds. I also recommend stocking up on insulin. This will be a collection of Mary Sue fics that parody the really bad writings of people who should never get behind a keyboard. That also includes myself since I write Mary Sue. Someone please kill me.


	2. Chapter 2

The Adventures of Mary Sue

Mary appeared with a big flash of Light. She felt a little dizzy but she smiled and it disappeared. Looking around Mary was amazed at all the really big buildings. But there didn't seem to be anybody around. Suddenly a giant monster appeared.

There was helicopters shooting at the monsters and tanks shooting at the monster and the giant monster ignored it. This made Mary Sue angry. She then Ran up to the giant Monster and kicked it.

"You big Monster! Go away and stop being mean to these people!" Mary yelled.

Suddenly a blue car pulled up with a pretty lady wearing a short red skirt. That's when Mary noticed a boy standing by a phone booth. The boy looked at little Mary Sue and started to blush. Mary didn't know why but The boy looked afraid and sad. Mary decided then to spend as much time as she needed to make this cute boy happy again.

Mary Smiled at the Cute boy and all of a sudden the giant monster tried to step on her. Mary was afraid for a split second. But the boy came to her rescue. He grabbed her and pulled her away from the giant monster and carried her bridal style to the lady in the car.

"Thank you for saving me, I was so afraid, then you came and saved me. My names Mary Sue. Would you like to be friends?" She asked.

The Boy looked at her and smiled.

" My names Shinji, and I would love to be friends, but first this monster has to die." Not knowing what suddenly came over him Shinji pulled the steering wheel in the car and made the car jerk to the right. Just missing a helicopter that crashed and exploded.

The lady in the car looked a little freaked out until she Saw Mary Sue hugging Shinji. Then her heart melted and she had the strangest urge to hug them both and tell them everything will be okay.

"My names Misato and I promise to protect you both." Misato gave a thumbs up sign.

Suddenly a white flash erupted and the whole car was lifted into the air as a nuclear weapon detonated.

Misato was leading the children through the secret underground base of Nerv. She didn't wanna admit to the kids that she was lost. Luckily little Mary Sue made a wrong turn down a corridor and entered a briefing room. There was Ritsuko giving a report to a group of UN officers. That's when she saw Shinji stand at attention and salute the UN Officers. Mary Sue giggled and the Officers Saluted Shinji Back and one even gave him a Pistol and uniform.

Misato was now very confused cause she didn't see where the pistol or uniform came from, or why someone would give them to a child. Shrugging her shoulders she decided to forget about the glaring plot hole. A few minutes later Ritsuko finished her briefings to the military. She brought a uniformed Shinji and the Strange Girl, Mary Sue, to the hangar.

"I assume that you told Shinji about what would be required of him now that he is a member of Nerv?" Ritsuko asked

"Of Course Ritsu-chan, He seems to be taking his duty seriously." Misato said as she gently patted Ritsuko on her shoulder.

"I've been meaning to ask you, Who is that girl?" Ritsuko asked.

Misato looked at her beautiful friend and then looked at the girl that Shinji seemed to be obsessed with and she really had no clue.

"I don't really know, she's a friend of Shinji's that's about all I know." Misato answered.

"Wait, you just let a random civilian walk into a top secret facility with no clearance and no background check?" Ritsuko looked shocked.

Thinking on it, Misato shrugged her shoulders.

"Seemed like a good idea." Misato said while she smiled at her beautiful and sexy friend.

" Um, Miss Ritsuko, I promise not to tell anyone anything. I'll also help you fight these monsters." Mary said while she smiled at everyone.

"Alright, good enough answer for me." Ritsuko said then she looked into the eyes of her grinning friend Misato and something just snapped.

"Misato,..." Ritsuko trailed off as she suddenly grabbed Misato in a lovers embrace and started kissing her.

Misato looked shocked for a moment then melted into the kiss and embraced her friend and started running her hands over her body.

"Wow, I didn't know they loved each other that much. I hope they live happily ever after, its so romantic." Mary Sue said while she held Shinji's hand.

The elevator door opened and Shinji and Mary walked out leaving Misato and Ritsuko in the elevator, the doors closed as they saw the two women begin to shed their clothes.

Shinji saw the giant robot in the hangar and looked at it with a fire in his eye.

" I see you noticed the Evangelion, that is humanity's last hope for survival against the Angels, and I want you to pilot it." Everyone looked up at Gendo Ikari as he stood on a balcony.

Shinji in a uniform stood at attention and saluted.

"Sir! I am honored to have the privilege to defend humanity, I ask only that you remember my sacrifice and be proud of me, father." Shinji stood at attention waiting for his father to give him the go ahead to enter the giant robot.

Gendo Ikari was completely shocked by the way his son was acting, he was told that Shinji was a whiny crybaby who hid and ran from his problems. Someone who wrote about killing himself in his diary. Who was this boy in front of him? Then he saw the girl standing next to him. She had the most beautiful blue eyes he ever saw. His entire being was shaken to its core. Just staring at the girl holding his son in her gentle womanly arms made him question everything he has done for the past fourteen years.

Suddenly for no apparent reason he felt immeasurable pride for his son. He didn't remember the last time he smiled, but he did so now.

"I have never been more proud to call you son then I do now. I want to make you a Lieutenant in Nerv. I will also allow this girl that I never saw before in my life conduct the operation."Gendo then stood back and walked to his desk.

Fuyutsuki stared at his boss, confused as to whether he was scheming something, or he had lost his mind.

"Are you alright?" He asked

"No, for the first time in my life I feel regret for what I have done. I believe I have to change our plans for world domination. I think we should work for the betterment of humanity." Gendo said while he stared at the monitor in front of his desk.

Horror crept up his spine, sending Ice cold needles stabbing at every inch of his skin. Fuyutsuki slowly reached for his pistol. He had to kill Gendo, he wasn't gonna die at the hands of SEAL just because Gendo lost his mind when he met his son.

Looking over at the monitors he noticed that the entire base was going nuts, madness was encroaching on the entire city. He watched in perverted humor as Ritsuko and Misato were having lesbian sex in a elevator.

What could be causing this psychosis? He thought. Was it the angel attack? Was the angel broadcasting a mind altering signal? Fuyutsuki moved his hand away from his pistol. He had to find out for sure that it was an outside stimuli causing madness, and not Gendo losing it on his own.

"Fuyutsuki, Tomorrow we will begin operation Kitty love. We will start saving every homeless kitten in Tokyo 3." Gendo said in his classic head behind his fingers pose.

"I also want you to dress up as a clown and go hand out gifts at the children's ward in the hospital."

Fuyutsuki used every ounce of willpower he had, to not pull his gun and shoot Gendo.

Deaths this Chapter

Military Deaths = 261

Civilian Deaths = 76

Kittens = 28

Puppies = 19

Sugary sweet calories ingested this chapter = 32,000

Number of new diabetics created this chapter = 9

AN – Mary Sue continues to cause havoc, and I wish the pain of her existence would just hurry up and kill me. Please someone finish me off. I hate my existence with every new chapter she makes me create. I beg for mercy!


End file.
